He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
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like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize