dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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