dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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