ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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