She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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