Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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