craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
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She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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