I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
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he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
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And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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