I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize