they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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