Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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