maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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