so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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