Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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