But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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