we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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