We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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