is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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