Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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