i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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