Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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