i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
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i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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