How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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