i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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