So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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