WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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