I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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