And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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