i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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