In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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