I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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