Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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