Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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