NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
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I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
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When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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