so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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