I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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