im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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