i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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