i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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