i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize