I think my vagina is haunted
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize