hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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