I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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