hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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