if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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