I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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