Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Randomize