So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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