ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize