i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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